Dating Alone in a New City

As promised this week is about dating yourself while solo traveling. Two weeks ago, I posted about dating while traveling and to use your common sense. This week I am going to tackle something most people think is crazy: dating yourself.

I have been single for over a year (big whoop!), and it has actually been very freeing and has revitalized who I am as person. I made resolution last year that I would continue to stay single throughout 2015, which I did. That’s not to say I didn’t go on dates, which I did, but I didn’t enter a relationship. I instead focused my energy on traveling and finding myself. I have always been socially anxious, but I found that I also can thrive in those situations.

Dating yourself is a fantastic way to find out what makes you uncomfortable, and it also allows time to reflect. My first date with myself, I realized I did not like the feeling of being judged, and I HATED the pitiful looks I received from the other patrons as if I had been stood up. This was a wake up call to me; I realized I did not carry myself in the manner I should. I looked sad and uncomfortable, which probably didn’t help the pitiful looks. I also realized I needed to stop caring what others thought of me to an extent. This experience allowed me to build those parts of who I am.

Well, that’s great and all, but now to get to dating yourself when you are traveling. By the time I had arrived in NYC, I had gone on several dates with other people and just alone. I knew that I would kick myself if I didn’t go one just one date while in one the greatest cities in The US. So, I took myself out. I put on the best dress I could find, threw on some high heels and went on date. NOTE: high heels when you have no idea how to get to the area, not the brightest idea I’ve ever had. This time I held my head high as I requested a table for one. As I sat there, impatiently waiting for food, I thought about how much I had experienced that year. I had battled with a lot of demons and through all of that, I had survived. I had not only survived, but I thrived.

So, go date yourself! Buy some flowers or chocolates for yourself, get that manicure you’ve been thinking about, try out that new restaurant, talk to strangers, go to the city you’ve always wanted to see. Go live for yourself! If you can’t love yourself, you can’t expect anyone else to either.

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