I was once asked what I want out of life– I want the people I love to reminisce and say “She never squandered the opportunity to feel alive. She never lived a dull life.”
I have stood atop mountains alone gazing for hundreds of miles, taking every moment in, all while knowing no words or photo could ever capture what I was experiencing. It was once I was seated on a jet headed back home that the realization of those experiences would hit me. A cloud of guilt would fill my chest, how many days had I squandered never knowing that beauty exists everywhere? When do you get to the point that you have accepted it as a good life? The day you meet the love of your life, watch your children graduate, listen to the words of love as you lay taking your last breaths? Is there ever a point when you have reached the point of acceptability that this is what life is?
As I sit watching the Earth grow further away as the plane reaches the Heavens, I contemplate to whom will I tell my stories? Will anyone care anymore? Have they heard enough stories to grow unamused by my tales? In several boxes packed away are the trinkets, ticket stubs, and photographs of the places I have gone. There are videos of me jumping off bridges, zip-lining through forests, confetti blasts at Time Square on New Year’s Eve, and hiking in a tropical forest. Eventually, they will become obsolete. I am not an important person, I am just me. No monuments will be built in my name; in fact, my name and existence will be forgotten in time. But the one thing I hope I can pass down is this—never squander the opportunity to feel alive.
I have reached my point of acceptability, I have done more in my life than I ever could have imagine, and it’s simply the beginning.