The Ramblings of a Mad Woman

As a child I would hide when my extended family would come over, not because I was afraid, but because I wanted to see if anyone would miss me. Usually after ten minutes I would hear the scurrying of feet trying to find me. As an adult I feel like that little girl is still inside of me sometimes. I will run off to different parts of the country, and there is a little, tiny part of me that wonders how long until someone notices. My family will know where I am, but how long until I hear someone say “I miss you.” Maybe that’s the ramblings of mad woman who has spent the majority of her life alone. But maybe, just maybe, I am waiting for someone to come along in life that can prove better than my solitude…someone who will ask me to stay. Stay in their life because they don’t just want me, they need me. “Stay, because the presence of one hour is better than a life without. Stay, because I know you can love, but just can’t say the words. Stay, because I will follow you to the ends of the Earth, until you feel satisfied you have traveled the world. Stay, because I want to learn to the love the world as you do.” Maybe these are just the ramblings of a mad woman, or a woman who has read one too many Nicholas Sparks’ books. Until then I’ll keep going, they’ll call my number, I’ll board that plane, wondering what it would be like to stay.

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